Half A Year

Where did those six months go? It doesn’t seem like a minute since I
had sleepless nights and tear filled days. It seems like only
yesterday when our little Theo was transfixed only by our red living
room curtains and no matter how much you tried to avert his gaze from
the drapes, his focus would almost immediately return there. How our
hearts ached because he would not look into our eyes and smile. How
much pain did we feel when we couldn’t console our baby despite the
kisses and cuddles.
The journey from 0-6 months is a rollercoaster, no doubt. I have to
say now, it is a joy. Theo is a bundle of energy; rolling from back
to front and front to back, interested in everything around him and
always trying to move to the thing that fascinates him the most. He
gets frustrated beyond belief as crawling is still something that
eludes him. His legs kick out on the air as he tries to snake along
the floor, but remains rooted to his spot.
He is fascinated by our faces and as we both wear glasses always wants
to touch them and pull them off. He grabs at our noses and lips and
watches intently when we speak, when we drink and when we are eating.
We have started weaning now, which at first seemed to be a mountain to
climb as Theo was not impressed with this new style of getting
nourishment. However, after a couple of attempts, he was used to it
and enjoys every mouthful. We are trying a mix of baby led and baby
fed. This way we know he is getting food as we are spooning it in,
but also he gets used to holding a spoon and grabbing at food and his
cup. Of course this always leads to food everywhere but he is
enjoying himself, which is the main thing.
As time marches on, me and Willy also have to consider the next steps
in all our lives: meaning the day Willy’s maternity leave ends. Her
last day at work was the end of July 2012 and she is due back in June
this year, unless she can tag some holiday on to her maternity leave
and go back in July. We are both planning to reduce our hours so Theo
is only in nursery for two days, and the logistics of this are causing
headaches and sleepless nights.
The main stumbling blocks are:

1. Can we afford to live on reduced hours?
2. Does the nursery have a place on the days we want?
3. Will our employers allow us to fit around the nursery?

The nursery we want to use cannot tell us if we have a place until
early April, so we are presently in limbo. Our employers have agreed
to some kind of reduced hours for us, but there were conditions that
soured the deal slightly. Moneywise, we will also have to see.
Part of me wishes we could afford for one of us to look after Theo
full time instead of putting him into nursery, whereas the other part
thinks that being too dependent on mum and dad may have a detrimental
effect on his social skills. I just know that the first day I have to
drop him off at nursery and walk away from him, I will weep buckets.
The fact that he will only be 10 months old in July freaks me out
because he is still so small! I don’t think I left my mum’s side
until I started infant school and that felt like a big deal to me
then… maybe if I had been in nursery from an early age, it wouldn’t
have been such a big step for me as a four year old. So maybe this is
best for Theo after all; and that’s the only thing we want.

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